As you may have noticed…

The posts have been infrequent of late.

Blame the elections, which held me in their iron grip for weeks.

Blame also my 2nd-to-last semester in college, which I cannot afford to fail.

It might be Some Time(tm) before regular posting is resumed. Apologies for keeping you hanging, but graduating with a degree takes precedence.

AB

Published in:  on November 14, 2008 at 9:34 pm Leave a Comment

Comedy Goldmine: Anarchy Online (Part the 3rd)

shodan: More people need to play AO
shodan: Well, people that I know. I wanna try out team missions. :)
shodan: [Clan LFG] Looking for 25-30 MA for missions
shodan: [shodan] I’m a 26 MA!
shodan: [Clan LFG] Looking for 25-30 MA for missions
shodan: [shodan] Oo! Oo! Pick me! *jumps about, waving arms*
shodan: (etc)
shodan: AO has a similar problem to AC, social-wise
shodan: People talk, but nobody listens :)
AB: Pah.
AB: If we started playing AO, you’d switch back to EQ or something.
shodan: Why.. What makes you say that?
shodan: . o O ( 8^D )
shodan: <#ac> Okay, we’ll all sign up for AO. <shodan> w00t!
shodan: * AB -> EQ. * shmit -> UO. * phrog -> AC
shodan: * shodan -> UO. <shmit> Found ‘im! <shodan> Doh!
AB: haha
AB: * shmit drags shodan kicking and screaming back to AO

——–

shodan: . o O ( <AB> I can’t play AO yet. I’ve only played AC. I’d have to go through AD, AE, AF, AG… )

——–

shodan: . o O ( * shodan falls off a cliff and is hit by nanobots for 47 points of falling damage )
shodan: . o O ( On Rubi-Ka, nanobots enforce the law of gravity with an iron hand )

——–

* shodan is amused at AO’s “identify a person” missions that take place in a modern building…
shodan: And the person is… a carnivorous plant.
shodan: <shodan> Hm, find Felix Smith. *runs through mission* Ah, here he is, and… ugh, dood.
shodan: <plant> Don’t look at me! DON’T LOOK AT ME!! DIE!! <shodan> !

——–

shodan: Apparently Agents will be able to use a hologram camera to take a picture of a tree or a rock or something
shodan: Then project the hologram, and hide inside it
* shodan turns into a large tree in the center of Omni-1 Trade
shodan: <shodan> Non-descript talking tree, here! Nothing unusual here at all!

——–

shodan: hm
shodan: AO may, or may not, be implementing official organizations at some point
shodan: (Hard to tell; they’re kinda vague)
shodan: Stuff like Omni-Pol, Omni-Med, etc.
* shodan always wanted to have Frumple (my tall/fat one-eyed Atrox Soldier) join up with Omni-Admin
shodan: <omni-office-dood> Frumple, can you approve this terraforming budget form? <Frumple> FRUMPLE LIKE STAMP FORM! *crushes desk with a huge “Approved” stamp*

——–

shodan: mmf
* shodan gets a mission full of A-500 Soldiers
shodan: <A-500> Enter-attack-mode. <shodan> Bring it, beey0tch!
shodan: <shodan> *whap* 62 points of damage! <A-500> 79 points, 85 points, 69 points, 79 points
shodan: <shodan> You know, on second thought…. Hey, what’s that over there?! * shodan –>
* shodan checked his armor. “Oh, energy AC is almost 200 points lower than anything else. Yeah, that’d do it!”
shodan: I’m amused though, that it’s an indoor mission, and they’re taller than the ceiling
shodan: . o O ( * shodan hears a horrendous metal-on-metal noise, and peers through a door )
shodan: . o O ( * shodan sees an A-500 wandering around, scraping its head on the ceiling, leaving a trail of sparks )
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> If I just wait here long enough, it’ll just kill itself… )

——–

shodan: !
* shodan finds a store selling a The Mid for ~60k credits
shodan: With insanely low requirements
* shodan almost buys it, then realises that it adds 30 to runspeed.
shodan: . o O ( … Oh. I’ll just pay 700 credits for the FRIGGIN’ NANOFORMULA THAT DOES THE SAME THING! )
shodan: . o O ( * shodan grabs the An Advanced Cars Vending Machine and shakes back and forth. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” )
shodan: . o O ( * shodan peers at the extremely-expensive, low-quality A The Mid in one machine, and at the cheap Quickness nanoformula in another )
shodan: . o O ( Vending Unit #2894-K, why can’t you be more like Vending Unit #2201-F?! )

——–

shodan: This has happened sooner than I thought it would
* shodan smacked head-on into the Wall Of Boredom in AO
shodan: . o O ( * AB phinishes signing up for AO )
shodan: . o O ( <AB> … Goddamnit, shodan! )
shodan: Part of the reason, I’d imagine, is that Funcom is running all of their story events on Rubi-ka 1.
* shodan plays on Rubi-ka 2.
shodan: . o O ( Three years later, Funcom completes the AO story arc, and begins shutting down servers. )
shodan: . o O ( <Funcom> … Woah, wait a sec, we had a second server? )

——–

shodan: In EQ, there were “impossible” combinations. Like a Troll Paladin.
shodan: But in AO, you can create bizarre breed/profession mixes.
shodan: You can be an Atrox Meta-Physicist or Engineer, for example.
shodan: . o O ( Where the Atrox is just a walking hunk of hitpoints and testosterone; no room for an Int stat. )
* shodan has been considering starting an Atrox Doctor
shodan: <shodan> Dis won’t hurt a bit! <team member> Er, actualy, I feel fine! In fact, I– * shodan rubs dirt onto teammember’s sucking chest wound. <teammember> AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!1! <shodan> Hah, you pansy, dis is good fer what ails ya!
shodan: . o O ( Patients lost: 752. Patients saved: 0. )
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> Perfect record, dat iz! )

Published in:  on October 25, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

We seem to have temporarily run out of funny

A heavy school workload has kept me from updating this. There’s another scheduled post tomorrow, and after that I’ll need to spend some quality time with the logs to restock the place. Keep checking. Should have some posts queued up come Monday.

–AB

Published in:  on October 24, 2008 at 10:17 am Leave a Comment

Comedy Goldmine: Anarchy Online (Part the 2nd)

* shodan snerks at people’s sigs
shodan: 54th rank champion; shaman of 30 seasons; 56th luminary?
* AB nods
shodan: People do that in AO
AB: Duh.
AB: People will do it anyplace if given half the chance.
AB: =)
AB: Two of the three people in that thread play AO. =)
shodan: <dood> I’m an Omni Agent, of the 24th season, who– <shodan> “LEVEL”!! WHAT THE FUCK IS SO WRONG WITH “LEVEL”?! AAAAAGGH!! *paf* <dood> … Yeah, anyway, as I was saying..

——–

* shodan snerks at someone wandering into a PvP zone in AO, and finding Omni and Clan alike, sitting down and chatting.
shodan: “This is a WAR, not a teaparty!”
* shodan ponders altering the warning message upon entering a pvp zone
shodan: “Surpression Field at 25%. Not like it matters or anything.”

——–

* prhine cancels his AO account
shodan: . o O ( Satisfying, isn’t it? )
shodan: . o O ( Why, I remember back Inna Day, when the cancel-account interface didn’t even exist yet! )
prhine: . o O ( AO fixes their online account registration just in time for the entire userbase to cancel )

——–

shodan: So AO has this “Take it easy” routine.
shodan: To get around weapon recharge delays, you could repeatedly hit the attack key, to go in and out of combat mode
shodan: So you’d only have to worry about the initial attack delay (typically a weapon’s recharge delay is far higher than the attack delay)
shodan: If you do that now, it keeps you in combat mode, and the chat windows says “Take it easy”
shodan: But -
shodan: Naturally, this being Funcom, it’s bugged.
shodan: More often than not, whenever you try to attack /anything/, normally, it gives you that message. :)
shodan: <n00b> Ah ha, a leet! Time to die, newbie-monster! *attacks* <client> Take it easy! <n00b> … wtf kind of game /is/ this?
shodan: . o O ( “What’re we supposed to use, harsh language?!” )

——–

* shodan gets to level 17 or so in AO and suddenly remembers why he quit
shodan: All the missions, as if a switch was flipped, are sending me into the middle of nowhere now. :)
* shodan camps a mission booth to no avail
shodan: . o O ( And it’s nighttime and there’s a dust storm, so I’m blind again ) :)
shodan: . o O ( * shodan logs into AO )
shodan: . o O ( A dense dust storm appears, as well as heavy rain, snow, and constant lightning )
shodan: . o O ( Today’s forecast is TOTAL CRAP! )

——–

shodan: mmmf
shodan: For some reason, AO is fun, despite the fact that it’s still the same game it used to be
shodan: Advancement seems a lot easier and less frustrating, maybe that’s it
AB: . o O (<shodan> AO is fun! DAMMIT!)
AB: . o O (<shodan> I *hate* it when AO is fun!)
AB: . o O (* shodan –> AO)
shodan: Yeah, really :)
* shodan ended up crashing around 6 or 7am this mr0ning
shodan: . o O ( * shodan reads the notes for the upcoming patch )
shodan: . o O ( “Because shodan has started playing again, all monsters will hit harder, players will do less damage, and vendor prices have tripled.” )

——–

shodan: Bah.
shodan: This would be the second oh-dear-gh0d-it’s-5am moment in as many days
* shodan eyes AO warily
shodan: . o O ( Stop being fun! You’re supposed to suck! )

——–

* shodan decided to play with some of AO’s tradeskills, and was reminded of EQ
shodan: (Even though I’ve never played with tradeskills in EQ, it just seemed EQ-like. Dammit!)
shodan: There’s a type of first-aid kit I can make. It heals not just health, but also restores nano as well. Typically slightly-higher values than a storebought first-aid kit and nano kit can provide.
shodan: Except buying the two kits from the store costs, maybe, 300-400 credits.
shodan: Making my own stack costs… 11,500 credits.
shodan: . o O ( ….?!? )
* shodan is interested in making an Emergency Treatment Kit, though, but mainly because the description amuses me.
shodan: “Like other treatment kits, this one contains nanobots that remove, and then regenerate, damaged or dead cells. Except the nanobots in this kit forcibly replace all dead cells. ALL OF THEM!”
shodan: . o O ( Hair, fingernails, dead skin cells, and so on. Using this kit is painful, and causes temporary blindness, but has enormous healing potential if you can tough it out. )
AB: Heh
shodan: <shodan> Sit down, lemme heal you with my emergency kit! <dood> Uh, no thanks! Tis but a flesh wound! <shodan> But your leg’s off! .. Hey! Come back! It only stings a little! <dood> *hobbling away* No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o….

Published in:  on October 22, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

Comedy Goldmine: EverQuest

* AB finds the last patch message he remembers before ditching EQ
shodan: “Everything takes longer, and everyone’s a bit weaker”
AB: Actually, that patch introduced a lot of good and interesting changes into the game.
AB: Including the change that I (along with hundreds of other players) had been clamoring for for a long time.
AB: Due to the way damage worked in EQ, blah blah blah EQ blah melee blah one-handed vs. two-handed blah blah blah.
shodan: . o O ( * AB starts to launch into a big explanation, then realises shodan doesn’t care )

——–

AB: One item of note: The /movelog command has a problem when hundreds of people try to execute the command at once. I highly recommend that you wait at least 15 minutes after registration opens prior to using the command. If you have any concerns that your command may not have gone through, you can zone and repeat the command if you wish.
* AB likes that.
AB: “Wait 15 minutes before using the command!”
AB: <everyone waits 15 minutes, then uses the command, resulting in the same crash>

——–

AB: From the “This Can Only End Badly” department:
AB: “SOE announced today that work is in progress to provide on-the-fly translation and language localization for their MMOGs. This will allow players from different countries to type in their native tongue and have other players see whats said in their own languages.”
* AB pictures a Babelfish-esque parser struggling to translate d00dspeak into something intelligible.
* AB pictures said parser blowing a gasket within seconds.

——–

* AB was running through the East Commons a few minutes ago and some moron used /shout to call for help.
AB: . o O (d00d shouts, “HELP!”)
* shodan snerks
shodan: “HELP! BY THE TREE!”
AB: . o O (AB shouts, “HOLD ON! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!”)
AB: . o O (d00d shouts, “I HAVE THREE WISPS ON ME!”)
AB: . o O (AB shouts, “I’M ON MY WAY! HOLD ON!!!”)
AB: I, of course, was doing nothing of the sort.

——–

* AB snerks at EQ
* AB drags a rat back to the Freeport Guards
AB: Guard Jacsen says, “Die dog!”
AB: Guard Jacsen says, “Let your death be a lesson to all who would oppose the Freeport Militia!”
shodan: <AB> ‘Scuse. Just wanted to point out, that’s a large rat, not a canine.
* AB pictures the various enemies of the Freeport Militia huddled around a table, fearfully discussing this latest development. <PaladinOfTruth> Did you hear? Jacsen killed a Large Rat today! <PreistOfMarr> Yes! He said “Let that be a lesson!” Whatever shall we do now? <PaladinOfTruth> I do not know. We must ponder our next move carefully.
AB: . o O (<PaladinOfTruth> Truly, we must exercise due caution around any organization who would count a killer of rats among their number!)

——–

* AB installs Shadows of Luclin
* AB bahahaha
AB: . o O (* AB installs the latest EQ expansion * shodan reflexively sets his own computer on fire)

——–

AB: Man.
AB: The new gnome models in Shadows of Luclin SUCK ASS
AB: <– bitter
shodan: They must’ve spent all their energy on the female woodelves
shodan: . o O ( “Whew! Woodelves and darkelves are finally done!” “What about Gnomes? We ship tomorrow.” “There’s gnomes in this game?” “!” )

——–

AB: Heh
AB: Nice to know some things never change.
* AB logged in to EQ in Halas as a Barbarian
* AB ran past someone named “Ubuffmeplz”

——–

AB: Apparently Verant is getting desperate for MOB names.
AB: In their latest expansion is a critter named the “plerg phlarg fiend”
AB: PL3RG PHL4RG!
shodan: ph13nd!
AB: On the other hand, Luclin is damned pretty.
AB: Aside from the horrible job they did on the female gnomes.
shodan: . o O ( But you’re not bitter )
AB: Not at all.
AB: Trolls and Ogres also got a big revamp.
AB: They look much different than they did old-skewl.
AB: Which isn’t bad in and of itself.
AB: However, the “relaxed” stand for trolls looks…
AB: …well, it looks like they’re about to sashay down a fashion show runway, frankly.

——–

* AB notes that the new EQ expansion has something for the shodans of the world
AB: The new EQ expansion is set on Norrath’s moon, which is tidally locked or something.
AB: The end result being that some zones are in perma-nighttime, some are in perma-twilight, and some are in perma-daytime.
AB: . o O (<shodan> ! * shodan –> EQ –> perma-daytime zone * shodan logs in <shodan> Wow! It’s not nighttime! For once! <sun> ! <sun> *foop* <nighttime> Hi! <shodan> GRF!)

Published in:  on October 21, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment
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Comedy Goldmine: Flashpoint

* shodan reads about a Flashpoint patch
shodan: “Fixed: Commander can switch lights only if not in cargo”
shodan: “Fixed: Dead AI pilot was sometimes able to continue flying”
shodan: . o O ( * plane completes its mission, and lands at the base. )
shodan: . o O ( <base commander> Wow, you’re lucky! That’s an awful lotta bullet-holes on your canopy, there! )
shodan: . o O ( <undead_pilot_riddled_with_bullets> GRRRAARRRRRGGH!! <base commander> Yes, quite! )
shodan: “Fixed: More stable crate and barrel simulation.”
shodan: . o O ( They’re simulating a store? )
shodan: “Fixed: Remote prediction could cause helicopter or plane explosion”
shodan: . o O ( <plane> Yep, just sittin’ here on the tarmac, minding my own business.. Hum-de-dum, doo dah dee, la-*BOOM* )

——–

* shodan looks for the “Fixed: Enemy AI shoots shodan square in the nose from eight miles away”, but alas, it doesn’t seem to be listed.
shodan: And I’m playing on the easiest difficulty setting; I’d hate to see the Veteran setting.
* shodan starts his next mission in Flashpoint
* shodan goes through a very, very lengthy “get everyone into position” manouver
* shodan and my squad finally start moving into enemy territory
shodan: <soldier somewhere on Tau Ceti> *PAK!* <shodan> *dies of a neat headwound*
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> Dammit! Look! I’m a private! The leader of this mess is right *there*! )
* shodan sneaks up behind his AI commander and tapes a bullseye to his back. <shodan> *giggle* <leader> What? <shodan> Nothin’! O:)
AB: Heh
AB: . o O (* shodan clubs his commander over the head and switches uniforms)
AB: . o O (<sniper> *PAK* <shodan> GRF!)
AB: . o O (* shodan disguises himself as a dalmatian <sniper> *PAK* <shodan> What the…)
AB: . o O (* shodan hides in a bunker * phone rings <shodan> Hello? <sniper> *PAK* <shodan> NRRG!)
AB: . o O (* shodan locks himself in a safe <shodan> Let’s see him try to get me in here! * shodan feels a tap on his shoulder <shodan> Uh… <sniper> hi! *PAK*)

——–

shodan: Guh.
shodan: This has to be the most frustrating game I’ve ever played.
shodan: All of your commander’s instructions are verbal, and generic.
shodan: “All move to Tree!”
shodan: . o O ( WE’RE IN A FOREST, YOU VAGUE DUMBASS! )
shodan: “Engage soldier!”
shodan: . o O ( Is there, like, a general direction he’s in? Or should I just shoot this friendly soldier next to me?” )
AB: . o O (<Commander> “Engage soldier!”)
AB: . o O (* shodan turns to his squadmate <shodan> Hi! Will you marry me?)

——–

AB: One of the very first games I played EVAR on the PC was a Microprose game called M1 Tank Platoon. Keep in mind that this was a game made in 1991 or so.
AB: And you could do the “hop in and drive it around” thing too.
AB: First person view, etc.
* shodan nads.
shodan: Flashpoint does that; you can drive a ton of vehicles.
shodan: Assuming, of course, you survive to actually get to them :)
AB: Right.
AB: But.
AB: This is 2002.
AB: The other game was in 1991.
AB: Pre-doom
AB: Pre-Wolfenstein
* shodan nads.
AB: IT WAS IMPRESSIVE, DAMMIT
shodan: Well, look at it this way :)
AB: . o O (<shodan> Well, look at it this way: I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID GAME! SHUT UP!)

——–

shodan: Flashpoint was apparently developed by a Russian company
* shodan finds that a bit odd, since you play as US soldiers fighting Russians during the cold war.
shodan: . o O ( On the other hand, it /could/ explain the pinpoint accuracy the enemy AI has, even when they’re on other planets. )
shodan: Oh, did I mention – these aren’t actually snipers.
shodan: They’re soldiers, with standard-issue non-scoped field rifles
* shodan can only assume they’re using AKs, which aren’t known for their accuracy to begin with :)
* shodan ponders trying Flashpoint in the Veteran skill level.
shodan: . o O ( Every mission begins a moment after you die )
shodan: . o O ( * shodan restarts as a Veteran )
shodan: . o O ( * shodan appears in a retirement home, in 2045 )

———

* shodan wonders what the clock thing is supposed to do in flashpoint
shodan: Apparently it’s your direction indicator, like “foo at 1:00″
shodan: Except it’s not actually relative to anything – yet it keeps changing its orientation
shodan: Man, this game sucks. :)
shodan: <voice> Meet at building! <text> Meet at fountain!
shodan: “…”
shodan: Apparently when your commander tells you to attack someone, it gets a little targeting bracket…
shodan: …which is where the commander last saw him. Most of the time.
shodan: And sometimes, it targets one of *my own guys*.
shodan: This is absurd. :)
shodan: heh
shodan: So, I’m starting to wonder if there are two different versions of this game.
* shodan reads a bunch of reviews, and they’re all neatly polarized
shodan: Half of ‘em have the same complaints I do; the other half praise every aspect of the game (even the *sound*)
prhine: “We are lovink it! It is better than Cats! We are going to be playink it over and over again!”
shodan: . o O ( * shodan writes his own review )
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> This has to be the most cumbersome game I’ve ever– <sniper> *pak* <shodan> GRF! )

Published in:  on October 20, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a Comment

Hidden Talents

* AB just came down from upstairs
AB: la rubia is watching Cirque du Soleil on Bravo.
AB: Jeezus fuck.
AB: I’d never seen it before.
shodan: Neat, innit?
AB: Just saw some guy do a somersault on a pole…
AB: …while holding some 10-year-old kid
shodan: On a pole?
shodan: . o O ( <acrobat> *spin* *tumble* *etc* <polish guy> Stop that. )
AB: Yeah. A flexible pole stretched between the shoulders of two other d00ds.
shodan: heh. I was picturing a vertical pole, and not a horizontal one at first. “Now /that’s/ tricky!”
AB: Heh
AB: Yeah.
shodan: I’ve never actually seen ‘em.
shodan: But I gather that they’re awfully impressive.
shodan: . o O ( * CirqueDeSoleilGuy does somersaults on a vertical pole while balancing a 10 year old kid and juggling flaming torches with his pinkys )
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> I can do that, but I don’t wanna. )

Published in:  on October 19, 2008 at 4:00 pm Leave a Comment
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Comedy Goldmine: System Shock 2 (Part the 5th)

* shodan gets the engine nacelles turned on
* shodan calls it a night
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> There, the core’s online. *yawn* <Polito> What are you standing around for? Come up to deck four, and– <shodan> LISTEN, BITCH! I’m tired! Fuck off! <Polito> ! Oh. ‘kay! ‘night! )
shodan: . o O ( <Hybrid> YOUR SONG IS NOT OURS! YOUR FLESH WILL– <shodan> Hey! Keep it down, willya? <Hybrid> Oops! Terribly sorry; shall I go to another deck? <shodan> Please do. <Hybrid> Right-o, chum! * Hybrid –> )

——–

* shodan isn’t sure what to pick for his next OS upgrade
shodan: Can’t really decide between Sharpshooter, or the.. er.. Hit Things With The Wrench Harder one.
* AB recommends Sharpshooter
AB: Since you use the wrench less and less often as you get to the higher decks.
* shodan nads, although for a long time, I relied on the shard
AB: . o O (* shodan runs up to the SECBOT with the Shard *zot zot zot*)
AB: . o O (<SECBOT> You have taken off 1.34% of my total health)
AB: . o O (* SECBOT wiggles its eyebrows *grind grind*)
shodan: heh
shodan: . o O ( * shodan whips out his wrench (!) and runs up to a robot )
shodan: . o O ( <bot> WARNING! HOSTILE! DEST– * shodan quickly takes the robot apart. )
AB: . o O (* shodan juggles the robot’s nuts)
shodan: “!”

——–

AB: Other annoyance: Why is it that when you hack a turret next to another turret, the unhacked turret immediately opens fire on the hacked turret, even if security is disabled?
AB: It’s DAMNED ANNOYING.
shodan: Indeed
* shodan stumbled upon that while between two turrets
shodan: Sometimes if you’re RILLY fast, you can get both turrets hacked.
shodan: But it’s probably better to have one turret at full health, rather than two at 5%. :)
* AB stumbled upon it with the two turrets in Hydroponics, just around the corner from the elevator.
AB: It was the first turret I’d hacked.
AB: My sense of triumph was shortlived.
shodan: heh, yeah
shodan: . o O ( * AB hacks one of the turrets )
shodan: . o O ( Both turrets start firing at each other )
shodan: . o O ( <AB> HEY! Settle down, or I’ll turn this spaceship /right/ around! )

——–

AB: Heh. The way I entered the Mall area was from the Garden area.
AB: Turns out there’s a SECBOT *right* outside the bulkhead when you enter the Mall
shodan: !
AB: . o O (* AB waits for the Mall portion of Deck 5 to load <AB> Okay, it’s loaded! Now to– <SECBOT> *ZOT ZOT ZOT*)
shodan: That’s not very nice. :)
AB: . o O (* AB reloads from his previous save (right before hitting the bulkhead switch), switches from Shotgun to Assault Rifle with AP rounds * AB flips the bulkhead switch and braces himself)
shodan: heh..
shodan: . o O ( * AB reloads his game, switches to assault rifle, etc )
shodan: . o O ( * AB steps through the bulkhead, and finds no secbot. <AB> ? )
shodan: . o O ( * AB wanders around the empty mall, finding no trace of the robot or other monsters. <AB> ?!? )
shodan: . o O ( * AB finally finds a bar, where the secbot and a hybrid are having drinks. <AB> WELL?! <Hybrid> Doh! We’re on! <secbot> Gah! Thought we had a couple more minutes.. )

——–

* shodan skulks about in shock2
shodan: <firetruck> *BLAAAAAT* <shodan> !!
AB: Heh.
AB: That was me this morning, sorta.
AB: . o O (* AB starts a pot of coffee in the coffeemaker on his desk. * AB cranks up Shock2. * AB skulks around the recreation deck, prepared for any– <coffeemaker> BLOOP BLOOP BLAAP BLOOP *PSSSSSSH* *PSSSSSH* BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP <AB> !!!)
AB: . o O (<coffeemaker> BLOOP BLOOP BLAAP BLOOP *PSSSSSSH* *PSSSSSH* BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP <AB> !!! <Hybrid> !!! <Hybrid> Say, wouldja mind turning that off? Or at least facing it away from the computer or something? <AB> Oop, sorry. * AB moves the coffee maker away from the computer <AB> Better? <Hybrid> Yep! Thanks! * Hybrid throws a grenade at AB)

——–

shodan: Heh, my latest savegame is at the cyborg-assasin-dropping-explosive-barrels part, in the Data Storage room.
* shodan can only complete that part through blind luck.
shodan: I saved there, beat the cyborg, got much much farther, and neglected to save at all.
AB: You mean there’s another way to complete that part besides “Go in and run around screaming like a madman until you or the Cyber Assassin is dead?”

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Still Great After All These Years

* AB discovers that, at some point in the past, he re-installed Doom2 on this computer.
* AB loads it up
* AB squints
AB: . o O (What are those moving blobs?)
shodan: heh
* shodan remembers doom2 having /great/ graphics!
shodan: Clearly, it doesn’t, but nostalgia’ll do that :)

——–

AB: Bah
* AB manages to kr33p himself out playing Doom2
AB: . o O (* AB creep around corner with shotgun, looking for enemies)
AB: . o O (* Fireball_shooting_skeleton pops outta nowhere and starts launching fireballs at AB)
AB: . o O (* AB’s_Cat jumps up on AB’s desk)
AB: . o O (* AB –> Exit Doom2 –> Change underwear –> Clean chair)

——–

AB: Grf.
AB: Just got kilt
shodan: !
AB: . o O (<shodan> Doom 2? <AB> Nah. Bridge.)

Published in:  on October 18, 2008 at 4:00 pm Leave a Comment
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Accumulated Miscellany

* AB snerks at a spam he received which sez “YOUR DEGREE MAY BE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!!!”
AB: . o O (* AB turns around slowly)
AB: . o O (<Degree> GRAR!!!)
AB: . o O (<AB> !)

——–

AB: <NyZilla> http://www.webelements.com/webelements/ elements/media/moov/rainbow.mpg
AB: <AB> . o O (www.webelements.com/webelements/ elements/morewebelements/yetmoreelements/
otherelements/webelements/media/moov/rainbow.mpg)

——–

* shodan peers at all the EQ signatures
shodan: . o O ( Shaman of 34 seasons )
shodan: . o O ( EQ DOESN’T *HAVE* SEASONS! )
shodan: . o O ( Enchanter of the 54th Circle )
shodan: . o O ( Ranger of the 19th Moonfalling )
shodan: . o O ( Warrior of the 34th Colonoscopy )
shodan: . o O ( Shodan of the 1st SHUT UP! )

——–

AB: Gonna go check on my wife. She’s still in bed.
AB: Kinda unusual for her to still be in bed at 3:00pm
shodan: . o O ( * AB -> )
shodan: . o O ( * AB <- )
shodan: . o O ( <AB> Yep, still there. )

——–

* shodan watches the internet suck
* AB 2
AB: . o O (* AB 2: The Fat Man Returns!)
AB: . o O ( Enter the Fat Man )
AB: . o O (Enter the Fat Man 2: Don’t Wanna!)

——–

prhine: I’ll heartily recommend Gauntlet: Dark Legacy, if you ever need to entertain.
prhine: It’s a mindless blast, multiplayer.
shodan: Yeah, gauntlet’s a good party game
shodan: Too bad I never entertain :)
prhine: Well, hence the proviso :)
shodan: That, and no TV is kinda tricky. :)
shodan: . o O ( <phrog> … How do you even play games at all? <shodan> It’s very, very tricky. )
prhine: What are you playing your ps2..
prhine: yah, inquiring minds, etc.
AB: Directly wired into his skulljack

——–

shodan: heh. This is kinda pathetic, come to think of it. :)
* shodan is having fun with GTA3… on the “configure audio” screen. :)
AB: . o O (<shodan> This is great!)
AB: . o O (two seconds pass)
AB: . o O (<shodan> This sucks!)
shodan: heh
shodan: . o O ( * shodan “yay!”s and “grf!”s simultaniously )
AB: . o O (* shodan sprains a clavicle)
shodan: <shodan> Ow! My clavicle! * shodan clutches his.. um… * shodan -> anatomy.com

——–

* AB checks weather for Barrow, AK
* AB lets out a low whistle.
* shodan checks AB’s pressure gagues

——–

shodan: nrg
* shodan is X-TREEMly tired
AB: . o O (* shodan goes to bed while wearing a snowboard and holding a six-pack of Mountain Dew)

——–

AB: . o O (<Vader> You have failed me for the SECOND to last time, *Admiral* Ozzel * Vader walks off. <Ozzel> Uh…)
shodan: . o O ( <Vader> This is going down on your PERMANENT record )
AB: . o O (<Vader> You have failed me, *Admiral* Shodan… <shodan> Uh, so which time is this. <Vader> Not tellin’. <shodan> Aww come on. <Vader> Nope! <shodan> Is it the third to the last time? <Vader> Not sayin’! <shodan> Fourth to the last time? <Vader> SILENCE! *breathe breathe* <shodan> eep!)

——–

* shodan , for fun, connects to some random pr0nsite’s “live chat” system
shodan: <chix0r> Hi, baby! (0.02 seconds after I connect)
shodan: <shodan> This would be more interesting if I could, like, actually see you.
shodan: <chix0r> Do you want to see me?
shodan: <shodan> Hmm…. blah blah oceanic metamorphosis thermometer see you oven mitt.
shodan: <chix0r> Do you want to see me?
shodan: . o O ( Yay, bots. ) :)

——–

shodan: grf, this is getting annoying
* shodan gets three or four icq messages in the space of 10 minutes
shodan: All worded identically except for the last word
shodan: “Hey, how are you? I’m $female_name”
* shodan hands the icq spamtool writers a message randomizer
* AB grfs and reaches into shodan’s computer and deinstalls ICQ
shodan: No, don’t do that; I’ll have one less thing to complain about.

——–

shodan: yawn
* shodan eyes his apparently-nonfunctional coffee warily
* AB had that this morning, I think.
AB: . o O (We’ve secretly replaced all the coffee at work with Decaf! Let’s see if anyone notices! <AB> *blear* <shodan> *snore*)

——–

* AB points shodan at www.duvel.com
shodan: neet!
shodan: . o O ( This website has the same name as my beer! )
shodan: nrg. But so far, every sip of this beer has been ph1zz.
shodan: . o O ( * shodan downs the rest of the beer )
shodan: . o O ( <shodan> *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL (days pass) LLLLLLLLCCCH* )
* AB nods
AB: Welcome to the wonderful world of Belgian Trippels

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